Personal Ad: Thin Pig Seeks Relationship
Hello world, my name's Newton. I am a single, successful, and compassionate pig who loves my career, friends, food, wine, travel, and adventure. I don't identify as male or female. I could possibly be labeled as hedonistic. My hair is short and bright pink. I have dark eyes and am fairly short (2' 6" tall to be exact). My body type is “thin”; I admit I like to work out. People say I am quiet but an amazing listener and find just about any topic fascinating. If you like to talk about knitting, ninja, CrossFit, “mocktails”, Canadian politics, rockets or anything else, I am all ears. I am especially passionate about social media marketing and am addicted to Instagram! (I have my very own hashtag…more on this below). At just under one year old, I am old enough to know what I like... but young enough to be up for almost ANYTHING!
Overall, I am seeking companionship and the opportunity for adventure. You must be able to lift and carry at least 8 ounces. While my career is awesome and on a rocket-like trajectory, I don’t make much dough (so travel expenses will be on you...but don’t worry, I am a cheap date!) You must be chill and open to a variety of activities like hiking, biking, snorkeling, site-seeing, bungee jumping, skydiving (tandem only), movies (totally confess I am a sucker for Charlotte’s Web...pass the Kleenex) and book club to name a few. Please be kind, open-minded but confident enough in your beliefs to have deep conversations and the occasional argument.
Mud baths, food scraps, dogs (although dogs REALLY love me so please don’t leave me alone with them), pizza, sunbathing, Depeche Mode, working on my screen play, and volunteering for a variety of worthy causes. I also LOVE my job at Thin Pig Media! I am basically a traveling ambassador promoting social media around the world. This has afforded me the opportunity to visit countless cities and towns around the globe. I am happiest when I am getting a new stamp in my passport.
Mean people, bacon, Nickleback, cats (sorry, just a preference...but if you have a cat, I will be cool to it). Also dislike political posts on Facebook, Comic Sans font, jerks, Steven Seagal, fakers, excessive sarcasm, bell peppers, and sushi. Also….not a fan of clothes, I never wear them, but totally understand if being Au Naturale is not your thing. (Although my sister, who lives with @CRFleming22, is quite a fashion diva.)
My family is very important to me, and I have a BIG one. As I write this ad I have 86 brothers and sisters. (Mom and Dad are prolific and taught each of us that, “If it feels good, do it,” and always encouraged us to have the travel bug). My sibs are spread around the U.S. and also in seven countries. Like me, they love hanging with people and having fun adventures. Whoops! Disregard the number above, Mom just had another litter -- we are up to 94 (nice work mom!)
As mentioned above, I have my very own hashtag. To get hold of me, hit me up using #ThinPigAdventures. You can see pics of me 'doing my thang', and also see my brothers and sisters in action around the world. As a matter of fact, I will ship one of my siblings to you if you are one of the first 10 people to tag #ThinPigAdventures on Instagram or Twitter. And since they'll probably want to know where they're off to, make sure you say something like, “Come visit _________!” Once you receive your new friend, we always love to see photos of their adventures, so don't be shy in sharing pics on social media with the #ThinPigAdventures tag!
Thanks for checking out my ad. I hope to meet some new friends very soon!