Me Time is the Best Time
They say water is therapeutic, and I believe it. On a gray and rainy Sunday morning, I found myself driving to an early morning solo paddle. With no race to train for and it being a chilly and wet day, I started to wonder what was driving me to drag myself out of bed and into a potentially miserable (and wet) work out.
In a time where staying home alone is the safest thing that you can do, one can only wonder how isolation is affecting our mental health. Human beings are a social species that relies on social interactions to survive and thrive.
My Happy Place
(Pacific Reach Paddling Club based in Vancouver, B.C.)
In pre-pandemic times, I would be training on the water from two to three times per week in an outrigger canoe with a crew of 5 other paddlers. With races happening all around the world, there was always something we would be training for. This year, all races are cancelled and team paddling is on pause until further notice. Suddenly, that bulk of time spent working out, socializing with my teammates and being on the water came to a halt. Living in Vancouver, B.C., I practically grew up in salt water. From sailing and rowing with Sea Cadets, to dragonboating and now outrigger paddling, I feel a strange sense of unease when I’m away from the ocean for too long.
I’m thankful that my club was able to implement procedures to reopen for the summer. Although team activities were still prohibited, those with access to small vessels (sailboats, kayaks, SUPs and solo outriggers) were able to do what they love most again - be out on the water! Then came winter, and the weather changed making it not very appealing to be outdoors. With our KYC clubhouse closed, access to a warm shower afterwards was not an option.
Take Care And Self Care
We are more resilient and able to handle life's stresses when we are feeling our best both physically and mentally. A massage, a hot bath, or another form of pampering revitalizes you inside and out. Being on the water is my happy place; it is the place where my worries disappear and I can find peace from all my stresses.
Taking time out of your day to maintain self-care has several benefits. A pandemic is a perfect “anxiety stew.” It has all the ingredients that go into causing worry, even in people who are not typically anxiety-prone. These include: uncontrollability, uncertainty and high consequence. Humans dislike uncertainty and tend to “fill-in-the-blanks” in situations like this, which often results in dwelling on improbable worst-case scenarios.
In these tough times, it’s important to take actions to cope with the circumstances and ease the suffering:
Keep Physical Not Social Distance
It’s easy to become socially isolated when we are advised to keep away from others, especially for people who live alone. Make a special effort to keep in touch with family, friends and colleagues through email, video conferencing and plain old phone calls. Make appointments with your friends to meet for a call just as you would for in-person get-togethers. Have Zoom parties with your friends and catch up on a regular basis. With the holidays coming up, consider mailing cards to those you cannot be with in person. Afterall, who doesn’t enjoy receiving good old fashioned snail mail!
Be Kind To Yourself (and others)
Living through this pandemic is tough. Many of us have not been in this situation before. We have no rules or experience or role models to turn to. We are making things up as we go along. You may be feeling lost, confused, anxious and worried. So is everyone else. These are all totally normal emotions. Allow yourself these feelings, have compassion and patience for your own struggles.
Don’t try to push away your difficult feelings or force yourself to “think positive,” which is not a healthy coping mechanism, as it denies the reality of your current experience. All emotions are OK, even the tough ones, and trying to stuff them down and replace them with “positive thinking” is an impossible and unhealthy task.
Make Some “Me” Time
With people working from home, family lives have been disrupted. Instead of sending the kids to daycare and being at the office all day, we’re all crammed into the same space yet trying to achieve the exact same things. Parents need to balance childcare and workload. Children need to learn differences between work time and play time with mom and dad. With less people going out, we’re spending more time than ever together in the same space.
For myself, I have a young toddler who demands a lot of my time and energy. When I’m not wearing my mom hat, I’m wearing my work-from-home hat, then sneaking time to put on my homemaker hat to do some household chores throughout the day. Even with two adults to care for a young child and run errands, it really doesn’t leave much room for self care.
As difficult as it may seem, carve out some uninterrupted “me time” in the week. Making that part of your routine, can help others to learn that you need your time to disconnect and do something that is purely for you. Whether it’s video games, painting happy little trees on canvas or a Sunday paddle, be sure to insert that extra joy and fulfillment into your week.